Episode 111: Who Cares for the Carer? Breaking the Silence Around Mental Ill Health with Sarah Martin

What happens to a family when mental ill health enters their lives without warning?

The focus understandably turns to the person who is unwell. But surrounding them are often parents, partners, siblings and friends trying to make sense of an unfamiliar system while carrying fear, uncertainty and responsibility of their own.

In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by perioperative nurse, carer peer worker, SANE peer ambassador and author Sarah Martin. Sarah and her family became what she describes as “accidental carers” when one of her children experienced a mental health crisis while travelling overseas. What followed changed the course of their lives and eventually inspired Sarah’s first book, Dear Psychosis.

Her second book, Dear Carer, turns its attention to the people standing beside someone living with complex mental ill health.

Sarah shares how little support her family could find for themselves and why stigma, privacy and the desire to protect a loved one caused them to become increasingly silent. We explore the isolation this can create for carers and the difference it makes to feel genuinely seen, heard and understood by someone who is willing to listen.

We also discuss the practical knowledge families may need when navigating mental health services and emergencies, from understanding the roles of different clinicians to recognising a loved one’s triggers and preparing a toolkit before a crisis occurs.

At the heart of our conversation is Sarah’s message that carers must be cared for too.

She speaks candidly about the years she spent placing her own needs aside, why accepting invitations and seeking psychological support became important parts of her own wellbeing, and how looking after yourself ultimately helps the person who depends on you.

I first met Sarah through the Expert Author Community, and her first book, Dear Psychosis, left an enormous impression on me. With my own children entering adulthood, I found her family’s experience riveting, moving and confronting. Sarah also showed me what an honest and incredibly compelling book could be, so it was a genuine honour to finally have this conversation with her.

Key Episode Takeaways:

• Families can become carers without warning or preparation. When complex mental ill health enters a family, everyone can be affected, yet support and information are often directed only towards the person who is unwell.
• Stigma can leave entire families navigating mental ill health in silence. Carers may be reluctant to speak openly because they want to protect their loved one’s privacy, but that silence can also deepen their own isolation.
• Mental ill health deserves the same curiosity and compassion as any other chronic illness. Sarah encourages us to ask respectful questions, learn more and challenge the way mental and physical illnesses are treated differently.
• Carer self-care is essential, not selfish. Accepting help, maintaining connection and having somewhere safe to talk can support both the carer and the person relying on them.
• Preparation can make an overwhelming situation more manageable. Understanding possible triggers, knowing what support is available and creating a practical toolkit before a crisis can help families make more informed decisions when pressure is high.
• Feeling heard and seen can create an extraordinary ripple effect. Sarah’s work is grounded in helping people recognise that they are not alone and that even one person’s story can make a meaningful difference to someone else.

About the Guest:

Sarah Martin is a perioperative nurse with more than 40 years of experience, a carer peer worker and a SANE peer ambassador. She is also a mum of three, one of whom lives with bipolar affective disorder.

Sarah is the author of Dear Psychosis, which shares her family’s experience of complex mental ill health, and Dear Carer, created to provide carers with the information, perspectives and practical guidance Sarah wished her own family had been able to access. Through her writing and advocacy, she is committed to reducing the stigma and silence surrounding mental ill health and helping carers feel less alone.

Show Resources:

Connect with Sarah Martin on Instagram: @sarahmartin.author

Connect with Sarah Martin on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088825839661

Connect with Sarah Martin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-martin123/

Follow Emma Lagerlow on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Discover more about Emma and her work: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

Mental Health Support:

If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14. You can also access information and peer support through SANE.

If this episode raises concerns for you or someone you love, please contact an appropriate mental health support service or emergency service in your location.

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us at @emmalagerlow and @sarahmartin.author.

Yours in compassion and connection, Emma. X.